Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:

some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,

some have weird names, and all are different colors

...but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.