all apologies

I can only sit up for about ten minutes at a time before I get dizzy, so I'm going to make this brief:

It has come to my attention that many people are upset with me, and some of them are even angry at me that I can't make it out to New Orleans for Red Hat on June 1.

Anyone who knows me will not be surprised to hear that I'm not happy about missing the conference, and I'm pissed that I can't finish the ACME show I've worked on for six months, but but there is just nothing I can do to make my body heal itself faster. Quite honestly, I'm a more than a little offended that anyone would expect me to perform under these circumstances, then have the nerve to get angry with me when I can't . . . but I won't go into a medication-fuled rant about that.

However, I really do feel terrible that I can't make this conference. I feel like I'm letting a lot of people down, and I just want to take a moment and make a very public apology to the Red Hat summit organizers, Jon and Shari at igrep, and especially everyone who was looking forward to hearing me speak. I wish things were different, and I wish I could take two magic pills and make a full recovery in two days instead of two months . . . but it's entirely out of my hands.

the trifecta

On Saturday night, I started to get the aches that usually signal the begining of the flu: my neck, lower back, upper arms and backs of my hands. By Sunday morning, I could hardly get out of bed, which was sort of a problem, because I was supposed to be in a wedding.

So I took it easy all morning, took a mega-dose of cold medicine right before the ceremony started, and did a nice job in an incredibly beautiful ceremony.

I spent most of the reception in a chair, which meant I was a pretty lousy date for my stunningly beautiful wife, but as usual she never wanted for a dance partner.

Sunday night, I woke up nearly suffocating on the phlegmy shit in my throat, in so much pain I couldn't swallow. I think I slept for about 52 minutes and when I woke up I couldn't even talk. Good times, lots of really good times. Monday morning I started running a fever, averaging about 101.5. So I gave in, admitted I was sick, and saw my doctor this morning. Holy mother of shit. I hit the trifecta:

1. A severe sinus infection
2. excra-something tonsillitis
3. and the mother of them all: Mono.

So that sort of explains why I have felt so tired for the last two weeks, and why nothing I do seems to make this infection get any better.

My doctor has ordered me to stay in bed for at least the next week, and he said that it will take anywhere from ten days to two months to completely get over the infections, so I'm probably not going to be able to finish the ACME run, and since I can't fly, I don't get to go speak at the Red Hat conference on June 1.

Because this is all viral, all I can do is take stuff to help me feel not quite so bad, and because it's mono, I have to rest for about three hours to get fifteen good minutes of anything done.

I probably won't be updating my blog very much for the next seven or ten days. If you're waiting for your Just A Geek from the fundraiser, I'm about half-way through. I'm doing my very best to get them all signed and shipped, but I hope everyone understands that I'm at about 30% right now. Okay, time to go sleep again.

a final thought before the weekend

Boy, this has been a prolific morning for me, hasn't it? Before I walk away from the computer for the rest of the weekend (yeah, right!) . . . I forgot to mention that I will not be in ACME: A Day in the Life tomorrow, because I'm in my friend's wedding. (Hooray! Congratulations Stephanie and Patrick!)

A brilliant actor is covering all of my roles, and the show will still be fantastic, and worth seeing, but if you were planning to see my particular version of teh funnay, you'll have to wait until next week.

Okay, I'm totally walking away now.

Seriously! I am.

Shut up!

Oh, crap! I forgot: the story I did with Xeni for Day to Day will hit the Internets around 3PM EDT today.

Okay, now I'm walking away.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

a random painted highway

I like to think that I'm a pretty competent parent. I don't try to be my stepkids' buddy. I have raised them to be kind, compassionate, and honest, and I've impressed upon them the importance of living an honorable life. I've tried my very best to help them understand that education = opportunity, and always encouraged them to be the very best Ryan and Nolan they can be. For ten years, Anne and I have raised the kids with natural and logical consequences (good and bad) for their choices, and I've always loved them unconditionally. Along the way, it's been incredibly fun, the hardest thing I've ever done, a completely frustrating and thankless task, and the most wonderful and rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. I have a fantastic relationship with both of the boys, and when I occasionally catch little flashes of my influence in their behavior, it's all worth it.

But I still screw up from time to time, and last night I pulled a parental Bill Buckner.

I sat on the couch with Ryan and Nolan, and watched the two-hour finale of CSI. It was an intense and creepy episode, and by the last ten minutes of the second episode, we were all on the edge of our seats.

After a particularly tense and disgusting moment featuring fire ants, Nolan said, "Why don't we have CSI on DVD?"

"Because it's on TV fifteen times a day!" I said.

We went back to watching the show. After a minute or so, my parental sixth sense told me that Nolan had a dark little cloud over his head.

I replayed the last few moments, and immediately knew that it was my fault.

When Nolan said, "Why don't we have CSI on DVD?" what he meant was, "Man! This is so cool! I love this show, and I love that we sit down and watch it together every week!"

And when I said, "Because it's on TV fifteen times a day!" what he heard was, "I don't care."

I felt really bad, and after the show was over, I called him into the kitchen and told him how sorry I was.

"I wasn't trying to put you down, or make you feel bad," I said, "I just think it's funny that CSI is on TV so much, is all."

"Wil, it's only on twice a day," he said.

"Really? I thought it was on more."

"Nope, just twice a day on Spike."

"Oh. Well, that's not the point, really. I feel like I hurt your feelings, and I wanted to apologize."

"Okay." He said.

He hugged me, I hugged him back, and he walked out into the dining room.

I stood alone in the kitchen and wondered if I'd made it better or worse. I couldn't tell, which is pretty common with two teenagers. A few seconds passed, and Nolan poked his head into the doorway.

"Wil?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Nolan."

Well, I guess I did okay this time.

As a post-script, if I may be so bold as to offer unsolicited advice to all you parents out there: I have found that it's important to respect and be aware of your children's feelings, and never minimize or invalidate them. I have also found that it's even more important to be aware of how your actions impact your children, and when you screw up, it's best to take responsibility and apologize. Your child will see that you're not perfect, that you're not afraid to admit that you're not perfect, and will learn firsthand the importance of respecting other people's feelings.

once more into the geek

Stephen Lynch, who wrote the article in the NY Post I linked yesterday, sent me a link to his personal website, where he has the full text of his original draft:

Geekdom is a clique like any other, and there were those who felt things have gotten out of hand lately. Like a cult rock band that scored a top 40 hit, geek entertainment got too big, ruining the fun.

Only the truly dedicated will stick with it, Wheaton enthuses.

"There are so many geek poseurs. Putting on Weezer glasses does not make you a geek," he says. "Until you have tasted the sting of a dodgeball on your face, you are not really a geek."

Mikki Halpin, author of The Geek Handbook: User Guide and Documentation for the Geek in Your Life, believes "there will still be comic book conventions and sci-fi movies, but the line won’t be as long."

Which isn’t to say there won’t be a period of geek mourning. Halpin advises charity — nerd style.

"If you have a geek in your life, give them a project – they love projects," she says.

To which I say: Anyone need their hard drive formatted?

It's a great story, and it's a shame the editors had to cut it down so much. It's really interesting to read his original draft, and compare it to the story that ultimately ran in yesterday's Post. I know firsthand how much it hurts to cut down something you love because of space considerations, but isn't it great that we live in the age of blogs, where wonderful words that would otherwise get thrown away can still be read?

flickr and walter

While looking at Sean Bonner's Flickr photos from E3 yesterday, I discovered that my name is a Flickr Tag. That's . . . a little weird. It sure makes it easy to send pictures to my mom, though.

And my friend Andrew told me that I am mentioned in a story at MSNBC about season five of CSI:

Best guest star: Pruitt Taylor Vince, as Marty Gleason in "Swap Meet." It was a small part, but this character actor made the most of it. He played a crime-scene cleanup man, who broke into a Southern accent when talking to the victim’s family, because, "The bereaved often find a southern accent very comforting." What does it take to be part of the "blood bucket brigade"? Marty said it best: "All you really need is a strong stomach, a thorough knowledge of solvents, a little sensitivity, a little tact." Runners-ups include Melissa Leo (also known as Kay from "Homicide: Life on the Street") for her heart-wrenching turn as the mother who uses her daughter to keep her son alive in "Harvest." And, of course, Will Wheaton, making a small-screen comeback as Walter the homeless man in "Compulsion."

I don't even care that they spelled my name wrong, and I'd still like to say: "w00t!" :)

museum of idiots

I saw Phil Hellmuth at E3 today, in what I think was the Yahoo! Games booth (I'm not entirely sure, you know, with the cold medicine and everything.) He was taking questions from a huge crowd about poker, and doing what Phil does best: talking about how great he is, and how he only loses when some jerk puts a bad beat on him.

Phil is truly one of the greatest players to ever sit at a table, and he can absolutely beat anyone in the world, but his Shatnerian ego makes it very hard to enjoy watching him play.

However, ginormous ego or not, I just read that Phil did a really cool thing: he was all set to host the Phil Hellmuth Poker Challenge this weekend in Houston, Texas. Somewhere between 600 and 1000 players would pay $500 to attend a seminar taught by Phil, and then they'd play in a tournament that would send the winner to the Main Event in the World Series of Poker next month in Las Vegas. Best of all, the event would raise an estimated $250,000 for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

That is, until some anti-gambling busybodies in Colorado caused the charity event, which would raise money to help people who are stricken with breast cancer, to be shut down.

The whole story is at Pokernews.com:

"It looks like we have been shut down," said Chuck Frierson who, along with Dale Hunsucker, were the local organizers for the event. "Players who have pre-registered will be receiving a full refund."

"It started to unravel last week," Frierson told me. "It seems a person from an anti-gambling organization in Colorado heard about this event and contacted the Harris County Sheriffs Department regarding its legality. We were looking to hold the event at Reliant Park, which is part of the Reliant Stadium grounds that are overseen by the county. Reliant Park gave us a great area to present the tournament and the expected crowd that would be there for the festivities."

Isn't that awesome? Some anti-gambling nutjobs decided that it was very important to spread their crusade to an entirely different freakin' state, and shut down a charity event.

"It's very sad, because we have run these type of events in the past without an issue. Recently, we raised $105,000 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. The $105,000 was after any expenses we had. It was a great tournament for a great cause and we thought this one was going to be bigger."

"We were expecting about 600 people," lamented Frierson. "With that number, it was conceivable that we could have raised around $250,000 for breast cancer research. If we had 1000," Frierson paused, "it could have been $350, maybe $400,000...The charity is the one who is hurt the most, with the players who wanted to participate being hurt as well."

Wow. I hope those douchebags in Colorado are proud of themselves.

yes, virginia, geeks still rule the world

A couple of weeks ago, I got an e-mail from Stephen Lynch, who is a writer for the New York Post. He wrote:

I'm doing an article, the working theme of which is "the end of the geek golden era." By the end of May, "Star Wars" will be over, "Star Trek" will probably be over. The "Lord of the Rings" movies have been wrapped up, no more "Matrix." What do we look forward to now? Will geeks still rule the world?

I admire your blog and thought you would be a great person to comment on this. Thanks for your consideration.

I have learned to be wary of the Mainstream Media, but after a quick review of his articles, Stephen seemed like a good guy and the subject he was covering is something that I'm pretty passionate about.

I wrote back:

I actually think it's the beginning of a new golden era for geeks: technology is putting massive computing power in our hands, we're never more and a few hundred feet from the internets, we've got our own network (sci-fi channel) and the big summer blockbusters are all inspired by comic book movies. HHG comes out this year, it looks like Peter Jackson is going to do The Hobbit, there's talk about a movie based on The Watchmen in 2006, and there's a Firefly movie due out as well. Don't overlook Sin City, or Hellboy, and don't forget the new Battlestar Galactica! (Ron Moore is even connecting with geeks using the unprecedented medium of podcasting commentaries *for free* on all the new episodes, as well as communicating directly with the show's fans via his blog.)

I think the end of Star Wars is long overdue. The new movies are an absolute abomination. It's hard to figure out which sequel to The Matrix was worse, and Star Trek Enterprise had little in common with Star Trek beyond the name. There was an explosion of geeky goodness in the last few years, and now it's time to step back, and . . . well, thin the herd, I guess. We're at the dawn of a new geek era. The sun is only setting on the prologue.

This is just off the top of my head. If you'd like to talk with me, let me know and I'll give you a call today. If you'd like to use any of this material, let me know and I'll rework it just a little bit so it sounds less like e-mail.

So Stephen and I played phone and e-mail tag for a few days, but we finally connected and had a great conversation about geeky movies, where I tried to make it clear that, though I really hated Episode I, and nearly walked out of Matrix Reloaded, I am very optimistic that we are at the dawn of a new era of geeky goodness. I expanded my thoughts about thinning the heard, by pointing out that there is so much great fantasy, sci-fi, and comic book stuff out there now, the audience is less willing to accept any pile of crap that happens to have a laser gun or a dragon in it. Studios have realized that they can make movies which appeal to geeks and mundanes, without alienating either audience. This means that we should see more Spiderman, and less Catwoman.

Stephen's article We Fans Bear Up for a Long Geek-end (har) ran in today's Post. It's absolutely hilarious:

May 19, 2005 -- If you feel a sharp pain today — as if millions of voices cried out and were suddenly silenced — look no further than the guy at the next desk. The one with the Captain Kirk coffee mug and the light-saber pen.

Last Friday, "Star Trek: Enterprise" was shown the airlock. For the first time in 18 years, no "Star Trek" series will take its place next fall. And today, the final episode of the "Star Wars" series, "Revenge of the Sith," opens in theaters.

This is the end of the Golden Era of Geek. No more "Star Trek." No more "Star Wars." No more "Lord of the Rings." No more "Matrix."

My God. I'm going to have to start dating.

Unless you're still standing in line at Grauman's in protest, I think you'll have a great laugh. The whole article is really funny, and self-aware geeks will howl when they read it because it's so true but an important bit is left out when I am quoted:

It seems the geek age will end not with a bang but a Binks.

Yet that's exactly why some of the faithful welcome the implosion. Wil Wheaton, who starred as Ensign Wesley Crusher on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and wrote a memoir called "Just a Geek," says we're being put out of our collective misery.

"The end of 'Star Wars' is long overdue — the new movies are an absolute abomination," Wheaton says. "It's hard to figure out which sequel to 'The Matrix' was worse, and 'Star Trek: Enterprise' had little in common with 'Star Trek' beyond the name. There was an explosion of geeky goodness in the last few years, and now it's time to step back, and . . . well, thin the herd, I guess."

Yes, it's time to thin the herd, but I just want to clarify: I believe we're at the dawn of a new geek era. The sun is only setting on the prologue. In other words: Yes, Virginia, geeks still rule the world.

Of course, I reserve the right to take back all of these comments after I see Revenge of the Sith.

Nyahh.

Updated: Stephen — who you will remember I pegged as a good guy — sent me the following note, which I just uncovered:

Wil,

Well, the essay finally appeared today, on page 5 of the New York Post.

Of course, this being a dead-tree product, it had to run at about 16 inches, meaning a lot of our conversation was excised. If you want to post a link to it, which I would appreciate, you can add that I wished I could have included more of your comments about how there's still geek goodness out there (like "Battlestar Galatica") and that fans will take ownership of the franchises themselves. The toughest quote to cut out, though, was "if you've never tasted the sting of a dodgeball on your face, you're not a geek." Too true.

Thanks for all your help; it was lots of fun,
Steve

Finally, (and I don't do this very often [or ever, actually]) but for your RSS readers: in the comments, WWdN reader Kurt said:

It's not even so much that, with "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" gone, there can still be new material. It's that the presence of behemoths like "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" have, I think, long prevented the development of new material. We can finally get some fresh ideas!

Amen, brother.

the one where i post about E3

That sinus thing I had last week is trying very hard to move into my chest. Im exhausted after being awake for three hours, and my cough gotten . . . well, I'll spare you the details. Guess I have to go see the doctor, after all. Dammit.

I spent the entire day down at E3 with Xeni and a kick ass posse or ultranerds, doing a story for NPR's Day to Day on the intersection of Hollywood and the video game industry. It should run tomorrow, and I can't wait to hear it — we got so much great material, it's a shame we'll have to cut so much of it out. It's a good argument for podcasting: since a podcast is always going to be timeshifted, it can be as long or as short as you want it to be. (Speaking of podcasting, I listened to Card Club on Lord Admiral Radio on the way down and back. It's the first poker podcast I've heard, and I really liked it.)

As usual, E3 was so crowded and loud, I had a very hard time separating the substance from the style. It's sort of like being in a giant venn diagram of sound effects, game monitors, music, lights, props, 50,000 decibel game demos, people talking, and the occasional booth babe. The problem is, everyone is trying to be louder than everyone else, so after about 20 minutes in the South hall (which is more crowded and therefore louder than the West hall) all I wanted to do was leave, or at least put on some noise cancelling headphones.

I know I saw some cool stuff, because I said something like, "Hey, that's cool!" But the cold medicine and that really neat exhaustion I feel made it very hard for me to actually absorb it.

The best part of the day was how I got there and home: on the Metro Line. It's rare that the MTA can conveniently (read: without riding a bunch of different busses and taking three times as long as it does to drive) get me where I need to go, but the convention center is one of those places. I really enjoy taking Metro, and I hope that Los Angeles will leap into the 20th century and continue to expand light rail and subway service.

I have to go lie down for about 65 hours now, or until my ears stop ringing, whichever takes longer.